"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:"
Proverbs 17:22
Taxi Driver Scare
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second, everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said,
"Look mate, don't ever do that again, You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap
could scare him so much.
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a
cab driver - I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Hymns of Vocation
The Dentist's Hymn..............................................Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn............................There Shall Be Showers of Blessing
The Contractor's Hymn..........................................The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.........................................................................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn...........................................There Is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn.....................................................Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn................................Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn.................................................................I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn...................................................................................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn..................................................................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn....................................................................Sweet By and By
The Realtor's Hymn.......................I've Got A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop
The Pilot's Hymn................................................................................I'll Fly Away
The Paramedic's Hymn.................................................................Revive Us Again
The Judge's Hymn......................................................................Almost Persuaded
The Psychiatrist's Hymn...................................Just A Little Talk With Jesus
The Architect's Hymn...................................................How Firm A Foundation
The Credit Card Telemarketer's Hymn.................A Charge To Keep I Have
The Zookeeper's Hymn................................All Creatures of Our God & King
The Postal Worker's Hymn.........................................................So Send I You
The Waiter's Hymn...............................................................Fill My Cup, Lord
The Gardener's Hymn.....................................Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming
The Lifeguard's Hymn.....................................................Rescue the Perishing
The Criminal's Hymn...........................................................Search Me, O God
The Baker's Hymn.................................When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder
The Shoe Repairer's Hymn....................................It is Well With My Soul
The Travel Agent's Hymn...........................................Anywhere With Jesus
The Geologist's Hymn..................................................................Rock of Ages
The Hematologist's Hymn............................Are You Washed in the Blood?
The Menswear Clerk's Hymn...............................................Blest Be The Tie
The Umpire's Hymn...........................................I Need No Other Argument
The Librarian's Hymn..........................................................Whispering Hope
Now, for those who speed on the highways - a few hymns for you.
45 mph.....................God Will Take Care of You
55 mph..........Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph...........................Nearer My God to Thee
75 mph.................................Nearer, Still Nearer
85 mph...................This World Is Not My Home
95 mph.............................Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100 mph.........................Precious Memories
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have major cosmetic surgery: a face lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and changed her hair color. She figures, since she's got another 30 or 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an abulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?" God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
Answers to the Books of the Bible Find:
Books of the Bible
Can you find the names of 25 books of the Bible in this paragraph? This is a most remarkable puzzle. Someone found it in the seat pocket on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping himself occupied for hours. One man from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Roy Clark studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Victs mentioned it in her column once. One woman judges the job to be so involving; she brews a cup of tea to help calm her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot . . . that’s a fact. Some people will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. The truth is, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or scholar to see some of them at the worst. Something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have. Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation may help, books like: Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. And punctuation or spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete. Remember, there are 25 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph.